After repeatedly refusing to worship only the benevolent and almighty State, patrons of drive-in religious services have been sentenced to the standard penalty of being…
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After being told a mere religious holiday “that could just wait until next year” clearly did not qualify as a time-sensitive event, Christia… er, Easter…
Immediately after Congress passed the recent “stimulus” bill to drain the American public dry (purportedly in a bizarre attempt to revive them), a press member…
In yet another foolhardy attempt to assume the role of medical expert, President Trump took the unauthorized initiative to advise citizens to sanitize surfaces with…
After many citizens lost both their patience and their homes waiting for Congress to agree on a COVID-19 stimulus bill, struggling Americans were finally hopeful…
After an exponential increase in irritating quips about toilet paper hoarding, experts say cases appear to have peaked, and the meme situation is once again…
While more backward world citizens worry about physical suffering and death caused by rampant illness, advanced thinkers at CNN are working to mitigate the less…
In their ongoing efforts to be helpful to their peasant fans, wealthy celebrities took to social media to sing the beloved ditty Imagine, millionaire John…
Despite decades of reassurance to the contrary by government officials, conspiracy theorists are again claiming that the luxury toilet paper reserve supposedly backing much of…
After collectively shelling out millions to televangelists for their own personalized Last Days Calamity Calendar, many Christians are expressing frustration that the “earthquakes, famines and…