Trusted investigative journalists have uncovered irrefutable evidence that President Donald Trump is planning to use giant catapults, or trebuchets, to thwart potential tsunamis. Reporters from…
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In yet another move sure to get them blacklisted from the rabidly pro-life entertainment industry, courageous musicians have joined in signing a mission statement defening…
It was predicted to be just another game night with friends, but this week’s tournament participants rapidly came to blows when one couple unwisely brought…
In their first joint interview since a rumored unpleasant hair-pulling incident on Real Housewives of D.C., Chuck Schumer and Bernie Sanders sat down with our…
After Israel surprised Rashida Tlaib by granting her “desperate, totally sincere” request to enter the area long enough to see her ailing grandmother, Tlaib’s desired…
After every possible witness at the Metropolitan Correctional Center inexplicably died before they could be questioned, the FBI initially despaired of ever solving the mystery…
A recent study has concluded what progressive gamers have long known: exhaling excess carbon dioxide is the primary cause of the recent rapid rise in…
In a move that many have deemed surprisingly progressive, conservatives have banded together to send thoughts and prayers to spare California from destruction. As annual…
According to a self-declared reliable inside source, a large group of Congressional Republicans have secretly formed a new caucus within GOP ranks, creatively dubbed “The…
In a move they estimate has upset at least a dozen United States residents, all major movie studios have put out a joint statement that…