In an incident that FBI sources say is unprecedented in the history of the machine, a lie-detector apparatus hooked to Elizabeth Warren exploded and caught fire last week.
Warren was relating her oft-told story about being fired for her pregnancy when the polygraph exploded, but audience members claim that the machine had been spewing smoke and shaking violently throughout her speech.
“She was talking about her life growing up on the reservation, when the machine suddenly began making weird noises,” a shaken attendee said. “She was telling some really touching, totally true tales about her difficult childhood, but I could hardly hear because of the screeching.
“It was almost as if the machine was in pain,” concluded the witness.
Another audience member continued, “Once she got to the part about being the first single Cherokee nursing mother to take the bar exam while pregnant and in a wheelchair while recovering from polio, the polygraph started vibrating violently. Smoke even began coming from the wires. And once she said the word ‘pregnancy,’ it just blew up.”
Warren is reportedly uninjured and ready to take the stage at her next rally, and the explosion is conveniently being rebranded as a white supremacist bombing for future stories.
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