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Probe finds Ukraine aided in cover-up of Trump mattress tag removal

In a shocking discovery that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez called “worse than we thought,” investigators just unearthed evidence that President Trump removed the tag from a White House mattress. And in an even more surprising twist, they determined that the Ukrainian president helped him to cover up the crime.

According to reports, during a stay at the President’s Guest House, Ukraine’s President Volodymyr Zelensky complained that the tag on his mattress was “kinda scratchy.” And in a move obviously devoid of all reason and decency, Trump ignored the clearly stated warning on the tag and violently tore it off.

Apparently, suspicion was aroused after housekeepers noticed the missing tag when changing the bed linens, and Trump immediately panicked. A transcript of a phone call between the two world leaders shows Trump reminding Zelensky that the U.S. had been “very, very good, probably even the very best” to Ukraine in the past, possibly implying that Zelensky owed Trump a favor.

And it seemed clear what the favor was.

It has also been revealed that Trump withheld aid to Ukraine, evidently in an attempt to buy Zelensky’s silence. Trump has denied both removing the tag and engaging in any quid pro quo, but numerous sources agree that this is the “big one” that will finally do him in. 

And they are reportedly “way serious” this time.

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