Last updated on August 16, 2023
Disclaimer: This author is not implying that Hormel’s Spam (be it or original, pumpkin spice, or cotton candy flavored) or canned, processed meat-like products in general are anything other than very tasty for civilized humans. Clearly, a brick of ground mystery material in a metal canister could not fail to be anything other than delectable. In fact, you should totally buy some right now.
In what consumers are hailing the year’s best collaboration, Hormel and Raid have combined forces to produce a pest deterrent that smells as good as your grandma’s pumpkin pie (assuming your grandma didn’t exactly know her way around a kitchen).
Anonymous sources say the concoction was actually created by accident when a Hormel employee inadvertently spilled her dessert into a vat of stewing Spam mix. Fearful of being ousted for eating on the job, she cleverly told her superiors that she was merely “trying something new.” And having perhaps imbibed a little too much on their own lunch break, they enthusiastically agreed.
Hormel reportedly served some of the creation at launch parties, but they surprisingly failed to drum up much interest. However, they discovered that hotels hosting their events reported dramatically lower incidents of vermin infestation. So in a flash of sheer genius, they decided to market the rest of the product as a non-toxic rodent deterrent, pitching the idea to enthusiastic executives at Raid.
Leaders at both companies celebrated their successful collaboration at a combined launch on Thursday, during which it was oddly observed that no Spam of any kind was being served.
However, it was noted that the event was impressively rodent free.
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