AOC forced to sell Gucci watch to make student loan payment

Although Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez prefers to keep her complaints to herself and avoid the limelight, she finally came clean about the tragic loss of her beloved Gucci watch earlier this month. Needing money for student loans and having spent her entire monthly salary on Starbucks, she made the difficult decision to part with the only way she had left to tell time.

And in her continued fight to bring attention to the need for affordable education, AOC reluctantly agreed to share even more of her own heartbreaking story of sacrifice and self-deprivation with our reporter. It’s a story that may come as a shock to those who erroneously believed that she might be, as one constituent put it, “just a tiny bit out of touch with normal people.” 

A single adult with no dependent children, she obviously began college at a distinct disadvantage, and the hurdles began immediately.

“I had to work at the same time I was enrolled in school,” Ocasio-Cortez said, voice faltering. “I tried to hide what I was doing from my fellow students, but sometimes cash from the previous night’s tips would fall out of my pockets, so they figured it out.”

Asked why she attended an expensive private college instead of a tax-funded state school like any other middle-class person would be expected to do, she looked vacantly at our reporter.

“Taxes pay some of the tuition for state schools?” she asked in surprise. “So, nobody has to even pay for it? Why don’t we make everything tax-funded? Could we do that with watches?”

Steering her back to the subject of her college struggle, our reporter asked about other difficulties she had faced. 

“Well, I had to take a lot of time off work to protest stuff, and that really cut into my earnings. And my boss was super unsupportive of my activism, probably just because I was campaigning to have bar owners forced to pay bartenders more.”

“Everything has been a struggle for me,” she concluded. “It took me 27 years just to get into Congress. If that’s not hardship, I don’t know what is. And now, I can’t even tell what time it is during hearings.”