In an effort to sanction Vladimir Putin into more appropriate behavior, foreign policy expert Patricia Arquette has insisted that Russia be banned from the Galactic Republic and have all of their lightsabers confiscated.
Arquette warns that if Putin refuses to acquiesce to her demands, he will have his Jedi powers revoked and be banished to a galaxy far, far away.
Since Putin lost the last of his marbles last week and started launching missiles from his Death Star, numerous organizations and individuals have moved to revoke his intergalactic privileges. Graduates of both Facebook and Twitter Universities have used their expertise to suggest which punishments might be most effective, with ideas ranging from banning Russian salad dressing to raising taxes on ushankas (which are real things, we promise).
Putin has not yet publicly responded to the pressure, but given his history, it is assumed that he will react in a reasonable manner. And given the history of his detractors, it can also be assumed that they will not push their luck and engage in any war crimes of their own that would exacerbate the problem in any way.
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