Amid pressure from multiple government officials, Secret Service director Kimberly Cheatle has expressed her willingness to leave her position. However, she agreed only on the condition that the stairs leading from her office be “kinda smoothed out,” so as to avoid any safety issues as she exited.
Cheatle has faced criticism after her agents failed to prevent an assassination attempt on presidential candidate Donald Trump.
She has defended the Secret Service’s decision not to place agents on the roof where the shooter stood, explaining that the pitch of the roof was a dangerous 2.1 degree angle.
The Secret Service manual states agents “shall not be positioned on any surface more than or equal to 2.2 degrees, or more than 2.1 degrees if it’s a Saturday, because that’s when we have our weekly brunch meeting, and we’re pretty full and off-balance because of all the bagels.”
The attempt took place on a Saturday, making the question of allowable roof pitch a source of debate. Cheatle has said she will accept the decision of the newly appointed Poorly Worded Government Document Commission, which has been tasked with determining whether 2.1 degrees was technically out of safety range for a Saturday.
The Commission says if it has any more time left over, it will reexamine the Second Amendment and figure out what the heck the Founding Fathers were trying to say.
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