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New Mexico governor quarters soldiers in citizen’s homes, citing public health emergency

New Mexico Gov. Michelle Lujan Grisham invoked her gubernatorial sovereign powers on Monday to “politely urge at gunpoint” that citizens of Albuquerque host soldiers in their homes.

Some of her subjects objected and tried to retrieve their guns to fight back, but she reminded them that she had taken those the day before. 

The move reportedly seemed perfectly rational to anyone who purposely lives in Albuquerque.

Lujan Grisham, known to her friends as MLG, explained that she enacted the law due to an emergency need to show people that she “DID have what it takes to be governor of China.”

MLG’s press secretary, who begged us to allow him to remain anonymous, corrected his boss and reminded her that she was only queen of New Mexico, which seemed to make her very sad. 

Editor’s note: We were unable to find anyone who refers to Lujan Grisham as “MLG,” but she insists that she DOES have a cool nickname, the friends who call her that are NOT imaginary, and that she will quarter soldiers in OUR homes if we don’t write what she tells us to write. And we are the media, so we will obviously bend over and do it. 

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