In yet another demonstration of their devotion to inclusivity, Disney has announced they will be remaking the 1975 classic movie “Mahogany,” with Miley Cyrus playing the role of Tracy that Diana Ross made famous.
“We are committed to showing our audience that we are serious about our promise to avoid any originality or creativity,” said whoever the latest Disney CEO is. (Note: This will probably have changed by the time of publication, so we really see no point in wasting our time researching their personnel.)
“We also want everyone to know that we are not all about the ticket sales, and we are hoping to continue losing both money and popularity.”
Asked if he thought this was good for either their stars or their audience, the current guy chuckled and explained simply, “We’re just doing whatever we can to distract everyone from the constant claims of sexual abuse.”
He added, “The more time people spend arguing about who is starring in what movie and which revision is the worst, the less time they have to research our court battles. This is just a sound business model.”
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