Last updated on August 23, 2023
Continuing his battle cry for the everyman, the artist known as Oliver Anthony has released a ballad bemoaning the agony of today’s boxed-in freeway driver.
“Slow Men Left of the Right Lane” tells the story of a common man held back in his life’s journey by a jackwagon going 10 mph under the speed limit in the fast lane.
Anthony’s real name will show up on the Facebook fact check plastered over this “misleading” article, so we won’t bother looking it up. But the third paragraph, right here, is where we’d normally note the given name of a fancy celebrity who has obviously gotten too big for his britches and created himself a stage name.
Asked where he got the idea for his latest protest song, Anthony explained that while running late to a henna rinse appointment with his beard stylist, he found himself held a virtual captive by an elderly man in a Buick doing 55 on I-95.
“I got out my Sam’s Choice pencil and Dollar General notepad, and I just poured out my thoughts as I drove and drank a beer,” Anthony said.
“I knew I wasn’t the only one who couldn’t take it anymore, and I wanted to show other decent drivers that we can fight back against the Oldsmobile Brigade who think they own the left lane.”
As of press time, Oliver’s latest release is nearing the top of the Billboard country, pop, indie, and rap charts.
He says he is currently penning multiple new songs, with subject matter ranging from squeaky shopping cart wheels at Kroger to McDonald’s drive-thru lanes with curves that are too sharp for a full-sized pickup truck.
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