Story and photo by reporter Kenny McGuffin Jr.
A parade of semi trucks organized to pay tribute to the Canadian government is now 100 miles long and can be seen at night from Justin Trudeau’s home planet of Titan.
“It’s the least we can do,” explains fully vaccinated and septuple-boosted trucker William Wallace. “Freedom gets you killed. That’s the truth. It’s the heroes in government that protect us from freedom.
“We wanted to do something to let them know that we appreciate how they keep us safe… especially when it’s against our will.”
And it’s not just the truckers who are paying tribute to their heroic leaders; the streets are also lined with thousands of grateful citizens.
“All this whining about freedom is negative. We need to be more grateful for the things we don’t have. Sometimes it’s better that way.
“Food and clothes are symbols of white supremacy anyway, and it’s time for a change,” says parade onlooker Barry Woke.
The government issued a brief statement thanking the truckers and citizens for their support in eradicating freedom, while urging participants to continue to wear masks and stay socially distanced–particularly while alone in their trucks.
“The public has two choices. They can either shut up and do as they are told, or they can shut up and do as they are told. The choice is theirs,” a spokesman from Trudeau’s palace said benevolently.
“I think we can all agree that not having a choice is always the best choice.”
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