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WHO now advises masks be worn over just right nostril and left eye

Last updated on August 23, 2023

In what they emphasize is “really, for sure, the last time we are going to change our minds on this,” the World Health Organization (WHO) now recommends that healthy individuals wear surgical masks for daily activity, but position them only on the right nostril (the wearer’s right, which would be your left) and left eye (the wearer’s right, which would also be your left).

Asked to explain their latest change of protocol, WHO officials muttered something about competent authority telling them this was the ideal mask placement, after which China’s President Xi Jinping was seen laughing and jabbing his secretary in the ribs.

Governments across the globe were quick to implement the new rules, but sources say the process has gone horribly awry in many places, mostly due to local officials’ inability to determine their posteriors from their elbows, much less figure out which side is right and which is left.

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