In the latest attack on oft-victimized Elizabeth Warren, the Democratic National Committee (colloquially known as the Sanders Saboteurs) and her own campaign formed a sexist alliance to force the clearly pregnant 70-year-old out of the presidential race.
But Warren has made clear that although she’s both down AND out, she has no intention of going the way of Michael Bloomberg and finally allowing the public to get on with their lives in peace.
“This is not the first time this has happened to me,” began Warren, as reporters groaned and tried to sneak out the emergency exits at her press conference. “I was one dragged from my school classroom in handcuffs and chains after the principal noticed by my loose-fitting clothes that I was a week into a pregnancy.”
Warren, who has two children, went on to describe approximately (this reporter lost count, sorry) twenty instances of being fired or even attacked by men in MAGA hats, all so that her various employers would not be forced to provide her with maternity leave.
“We can and must do better in our treatment of female employees,” Warren seemingly finished, much to the relief of the press who had been unable to escape at the beginning of the speech. However, she then continued, “Now let me tell you about all the times I was fired for being visibly Native American…”
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