Despite the fact that their recent attempts to revoke their subjects’ rights have met with only limited success, optimistic Virginia legislators are continuing to examine the Constitution to ascertain which other bothersome entitlements they can eliminate.
“We’ve faced some resistance reneging on stuff like the Second Amendment,” admitted Grand Wizard Ralph Northam, “but we’re seeing signs that our people are ready to essentially relinquish the right to vote as explained in the Twelfth. So they can be stubborn, but we feel confident they are coming around. And we thought we’d just go in order so we don’t accidentally miss any amendments, so we’re working on the Third next.”
Northam went on to explain, “Just as the Second Amendment was written for a time of muskets and blowguns, the Third was written for a time of reasonable real estate prices and low population. We simply can’t build any more housing for our troops in this day and age, so we need to update the constitutional restriction on quartering them in private homes.
“Peace time or not,” he chuckled good-naturedly, “expect a knock at your door and some soldiers ready to make themselves at home.”
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