After their exemplary handling of vote tabulation in their Iowa Democratic Caucus, leaders have been given the honor of checking the final count to determine the guilt or innocence of the individual occupying the highest office of the land (Donald Trump). Iowa has proven itself competent for the overwhelming task and assures citizens that they are entirely capable of counting to 100 with little to no outside tutoring.
The verbal roll call was taken this afternoon, with what appeared to be a straightforward win for Trump. However, a final check must be taken of the written tabulations, and the Democtratic Iowa Caucus volunteered to use their celebrated addition skills to aid in the final process.
Some sources say that if Iowa Democrats carry out this objective successfully, they may be in the running to replace the aging Count on PBS’s Sesame Street. But even if PBS offers them the role, only time will tell if they can tolerate the high stress level of such a job without a repeat of Rashida Talaib’s unfortunate mental breakdown. After all, a gig as a puppet on Sesame Street obviously requires a level of maturity and reason far above that of a mere congressperson.
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