Citing credible threats of “familiarity with rights,” Northam bans Constitution at Capitol

With next week’s gun rally looming in Virginia, Governor Ralph Northam has enacted a temporary ban on the Constitution at the Capitol. He warns that the ban will remain in place until “the peasants have quieted down” and will extend to all copies of the Constitution from pocket to banner size.

Northam claims he received credible threats that the lower classes intended to disseminate the dangerous propaganda at Monday’s rally, and he swiftly stepped into action. He has ordered that all known copies of the Constitution be confiscated so as not to alert the public that he was attempting to  strip them of their basic rights.

He adds that he will have armed law enforcement officers present to ensure that the Constitutional law guaranteeing the right to bear arms is not enforced, and he states emphatically that “there is certainly no irony in that whatsoever.”