Following the advice of an anonymous “prominent doctor,” New York City’s Mayor Bill de Blasio has decided to demand $100 billion from any resident found guilty of inappropriate Halloween attire.
Evidently, the city’s mounting debt led de Blasio to seek counsel from noted extortionists, and the winning idea came from a man with a long history of creative ways of acquiring money. After dismissing a suggestion to hold residents hostage in a tank of sharks with freaking laser beams on their heads, de Blasio approved this latest measure.
De Blasio is set to release a list of forbidden costumes later this week, although it will be hidden from the general public. As de Blasio explained, alerting citizens to the exact points of the law would enable them to avoid breaking it, rendering the money-making strategy ineffective. Our source can only confirm that any costumes depicting bald men in gray suits are definitely on the list of forbidden clothing.
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